


sometimes the stage can be your enemy.

by leithvoid



Category: Palaye Royale (Band)
Genre: Brothers, Gen, Hospitals, M/M, Serious Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-10-12 05:09:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17461220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leithvoid/pseuds/leithvoid
Summary: remington leith, front man of a band. you'll see him go crazy on stage, climbing things, jumping into the crowd to dance with the audience and expressing his explosive personality on stage; but what happens when something goes wrong? will he ever be able to recover from his injuries and face the stage and hungry audience again?Sebastian X Daniel (Danzio) is in this fic.





	1. the night it happened.

Five minutes before stage, Sebastion was going around the group and hugging every time, something he needed to do before each show; it was like his ritual. Emerson was warming up his wrists but drumming on the walls on the corridor leading up to the stage door, Daniel was goofing around with Phil and Remington was up the back. He was last to go on stage so it was only right for him to be up the back, he was doing some vocal warm ups and jumping up and down on the spot, pumping himself up for the show. 

Doors open, Daniel, Phil, Emerson and Sebastion all walk on stage. Going to their dedicated placed on the stage, the set started. Remington was bouncing on the balls of his feet, rubbing his hands together, eyes closed getting into him mind finding his moment. The door opened and he ran out on stage, hand up and clapping as he made his way to the microphone, he grabbed it and started to sing. The set went as normal, Sebastion bounced around the stage with Daniel and Phil stood in the corner rocking out in his own little world. 

Emerson has the best seat in the house, watching Remington in all his glory with his audience in front - the perfect view. Emerson smashed his drumsticks on his instrument and the show went on as normal. Nothing was different, the energy that Remington put out into the room, the performance of the other band members - it was all going to plan. 

It was nearing the end of Palaye Royale's set when the front man of the group climbed the rafters of the stage, something he had tested prior to the show, like always. Though it wasn't particularly safe to be climbing things without a safety harness, it was better to know it was stable enough to hold him. Nothing really bad had ever happened to him while doing it. There had been a couple of times where maybe he hit the floor too hard while jumping down or hurt his knees, but other than that doing these things, climbing rafters or speakers of hanging off the roof; they never caused issues to his body. 

Tonight, was about to change all of that. 

As the band started to play the introduction too, You'll Be Fine, Remington had already climbed up and across the rafters so he as hanging by his legs off the metal beam. Microphone wrapped around his neck he started to sing the song, the crowd cheered and Sebastion was watching his younger brother from the corner of his eye. Even though Remington had been doing these stunts for over two years there was always a kind of anxiety that set into his chest; he was his responsibility, if something happened to him, he'd feel responsible. 

About half way through the song Remington got a cramp in his leg, while swinging from the roof of the stage. When he went to grab the bar with his hand it slipped, from the sweat that was on it. Everything becomes slow motion after that point. Remington's legs released from the bar and he fell the distance, Emerson jumped up from behind his kit realising that this wasn't a stunt almost immediately as Remington's legs left the bar. 

Emerson punched his kit to the side of his stand and ran for Remington's body, which was so close to hitting the ground there was no way that Emerson or anyone was going to reach him in time to stop the impact. There was a moment of almost silence when Emerson screamed Remington's name as his brother's body hit the hard floor. Sebastion throwing off his guitar to run towards his younger brothers. 

Remington lay motionless on the stage, everyone in the audience crying out, screaming, calling for help. Remington's eyes were open, looking at where he'd fallen, his body was screaming in so many different places he didn't even know how to react. "Rem, Rem, talk to me hey, you good?" Emerson's voice was the first sound that Remington heard after he fell. 

"Em, I-I can't move..." He looked into his younger brother's eyes, panic was increasing inside Remington's chest and the pain grew. He started to moan in pain as it grew the screaming started "Get me off the stage, now!" He demanded. As Emerson went to pick up Remington off the stage Sebastion grabbed his arms, Emerson shooting an angry look at him. 

"We can't move him, he could have hurt his spine. We need to close the stage off." He said, it was true. Security came to the stage and Sebastion told them what they needed to do to ensure this brother's safety. As security pulled across the curtain of the stage and started to usher people out, Emerson held Remington's hand. 

"You're okay, it's okay. The paramedics are on their way. You're okay Rem." Emerson kept repeating as he sat with his older brother on the ground next to him "Don't try to move we don't want you to hurt yourself more." He tried, Remington, being the stubborn kid, he was, was trying to sit up. "Rem, stop." Emerson said in a more demanding tone, Remington stopped trying to move. 

Over half an hour later Remington was being assessed by paramedics, he was put into a stretcher and neck brace and they lifted him onto the bed and rolled him into the ambulance. He was shedding a few tears at this point, growling and sometimes yelling in pain "Sir, we're going to give you some morphine now, the pain should dull soon okay?" one of the paramedics said. 

"Just fucking do it." He said threw gritted teeth. Emerson nodded to the paramedic and they started to inject the pain reliever into his hand. 

"It's going to be okay Rem," Emerson said reaching for his brethren's hand. Seeing him in this state was hard for Emerson but he needed to be calm for his brother and he was able to do that.


	2. the following moments.

When they arrived at the hospital Remington was rushed into the emergency room, Emerson following the paramedics and Remington down the hallways of the hospital. Emerson's mind started to disconnect from the situation at hand, no one ever really thought that he would get hurt. For someone who was always bursting with energy he was pretty careful with what he did during shows, he didn't want to hurt himself either. "Sir you have to stay here, while we look after him." Emerson's blood started to boil, he was family he should be allowed to be with him. 

"No, I'm staying with him." He said firmly, his hands turning into fists by his sides. He wasn't leaving his best friend, his brother, alone right now. Remington must have been terrified right now, he needed Emerson. 

"You can't go with him." The nurse told him. Just before he shot back something that would have gotten him into trouble, strong hands wrapped around his shoulders. Security in those hands, even though it was rare, those hands used to be all he needed to pat him on the shoulder and encourage him to chase his dreams. 

"Thank you, nurse, we'll wait out here." Sebastian's voice came from next to Emerson. "You're gunna be okay Remi, they can help." Sebastian said to his younger brother, Remington tried to nod but was really able, with this head being strapped to the bed. He smiled his classic grin as the drugs had now kicked in, he probably didn't even feel the pain anymore. 

The automatic doors opened and they rolled the half-naked boy, laying strapped to a bed into the ER. Three boys stood at those doors, staring for a moment. The image of Remington playing on their minds, he lay in that bed, head and neck strapped so he couldn't move incase he'd damaged his spine or neck. His pale face, eye liner running from sweat and tears he would never admit he shed. He didn't have a shirt on but his black jeans where tight on his legs which matched his crappy over toured Dr. Martin's. They were going to have to cut them all off. 

"Let's go sit and wait." Sebastian finally said, his arm falling off Emerson's shoulder and rubbing his back in small circles. 

"Fuck off." Emerson cursed, shrugging his oldest brothers hand off him. He walked back outside and stood in the cold wind outside. He sighed, he felt angry because he wasn't allowed to be with Remington. But there was a part of him that knew he needed to let the doctor's help him. He pulled a packet of cigarettes from his pocket and lit one, he let his hang from his lips and he walked away from the doors of the hospital and around the corner. He was surprised Sebastian hadn't followed him. 

Back inside after Emerson left Sebastian stood next to Daniel, someone who was always a constant support and friend to him. "Let him cool off before you go after him." Dan said to Sebastian, who in turn nodded and walked over to one of the seats in the waiting room. He felt responsible, this was his fault. He pulled off his suit jacket, wearing a black t-shirt under it, he pulled off his neck scarf and folded them in his lap. 

"He's going to be fine." Seb said out loud, more to reassure himself, though he wanted Daniel to tell him that too. Daniel's hand found Sebastian's hand wrapped tightly around his suit jacket, wiggling his fingers in between the jacket and Seb's hand. 

"This is Remington we're talking about here, he's a machine." There wasn't anything he'd not survived, he'd dislocated knees and shoulder's during sets and just put it back in and kept going. Seb nodded next to Daniel, he didn't feel better. "He is going to be okay Seb." Daniel tried to reassure him again. 

# 

"Kropp?" A doctor came out of the doors. Emerson was first to stand up and stride over to them, he was impatient, anxious and on the verge of during the building down. Sebastian and Daniel made their way over closely behind Emerson, hoping he wouldn't do anything stupid. 

"We're his brothers." Emerson blurted out, just before Seb and Dan came to a stop next to him. 

The doctor nodded "Okay, so we did some scans on his spin and neck. He has fractured a vertebra in his neck," Sebastian's hand searched for Daniel's who squeezed his hand. 

"He'll be okay though? When can we see him?" Emerson started firing questions at the doctor. 

"He will be fine, he will need to wear a neck brace for a month or so. He will need to come back or check up's but we can sort out all that stuff later on. I'll take you to him now." The doctor explained. 

Emerson, bouncing on the balls of his feet impatiently, wanting to punch a wall with anticipation. Sebastian dropped Daniel's hand as he tried to calm Emerson down. "Chill Em," He tried. Nothing he really said was going to help him out here. They just followed the doctor through the doors to where they were keeping Remington. 

"He is asleep right now, as we gave him some really strong pain medication. Try to not wake him, he really needs to rest. There will be nurses coming to check up on him so just keep that in mind, if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask one of the nurses." The doctor explained before they reached the room where their brother was. 

Remington was no longer strapped to the bed, but his neck was braced. He lied on his back, a needle was in his hand administering pain killers through an IV. His skinny body was covered by blankets up to his shoulders, his arms lay on top. His face was cleaned of any remittance of makeup he came in with, his hair was flat, like it had been washed to some extent. Emerson basically ran to his side, pulling a chair with him so he could sit by his bed side. "Thank you doctor, we appreciate it." Sebastian said to the doctor who nodded and then left the room, closing the door behind him.


	3. oh, brother.

Emerson sat quietly next to his older brother, his insides felt like mush. He hated seeing Remington like this, he hated being in hospitals, he hated people being in pain. From someone who was to quiet, so internal and suffering he hated to see others suffer. He held his bothers hand and ran his thumb over his knuckles, he was scared for his brother. Even though he knew that once Remington healed, he would be back on that stage jumping around and hanging off things – it made him feel uneasy.

Sebastian on the other was physically showing how he was feeling, being the oldest he was the one who was supposed to protect his brothers. He let Remington climb and swing off things all the time, yet this one time everything went horribly wrong. Every thought possible was running through Sebastian's mind right now, the fans, how many shows they would have to move and reschedule, the record label, his mother; would he ever trust him with her son’s again.

Daniel stood next to Sebastian at the end of Remington’s bed, he didn’t really know what to think. He suffered with anxiety and so this situation wasn’t very anxiety low, he played with the ring on this left ring finger, nerves habit of his. Though he had always loved and encouraged his step-brother to climb things it made him uneasy. He tried to explain to Seb how it made him feel but he wasn’t very good with words. He wasn’t sure how to help anyone in the room right now, he knew Seb was internally having a meltdown, he looked like he was about to cry. Emerson was quiet, which was normal.

The only normal thing in this room right now was the absolute silence from Remington. The only one who was truly suffering from something that could have killed him. Everyone around him was just having their own crisis’ “You have to call mum,” Emerson was the first to speck since the doctor left “she needs to know, if she doesn’t already.” he looked to his oldest brother, he could see he was breaking down but Emerson didn’t have it in him to comfort him.

“I know.” Sebastian bit back. “I just don’t know what to tell her.” he admitted to the room. Daniel rested a hand on his shoulder, trying to offer comfort.

“Tell her what happened.” Emerson sighed, looking back to Remington.

“Fine.” He muttered in response, he decided to leave the room to do it. Daniel followed him after a moment of looking at Emerson and deciding it was better to leave him alone with his brother.

Daniel closed the door behind him and Sebastian as they walked out “Seb, just breath. She’s not going to hate you; these things happen on tour all the time. She knows that, she’s not someone silly enough to think her children are exempt form that rule.” He explained, holding Sebastian’s hand.

“I don’t know, it’s my job to look after them. She’s never going to let Rem out of her sight now.” He stressed, Daniel knew that wasn’t true.

“Remington wouldn’t let that happen, we both know he’s going to be on that stage before he’s even ready.” He wasn’t wrong.

Sebastian got out his phone and called his mother, it rang twice before she answered “Is he okay Sebastian?” Her voice sounded panicked, he wasn’t surprised. “Why didn’t you call me sooner? Sebastian?” She wasn’t yelling but her voice made him feel so small.

“He is fine. Sorry, I didn’t call earlier mum Emerson was trying to pull the hospital down one brick at a time, I had to stop him.” He tried to joke but it felt wrong, for everyone. “Rem’s fine, he fractured a vertebra in his neck. He just needs to wear a neck brace for a while. I’m so sorry mum.”

“Don’t be sorry son, it’s not your fault. I’m just glad he is okay.” She said to Sebastian’s relief. “I’m glad you are okay too, how is Emerson and Daniel dealing?” she was always concerned about everyone.

“Emerson is... Well I wouldn’t say fine but he’s not terrible? He just won’t leave Rem’s side.” He replied, actually thinking about how his youngest brother was reacting to the situation, he’d not really thought about it yet.

“You know those two are inseparable, this is going to be really hard for him. You have to support him Seb.” she explained, this wasn’t something Sebastian didn’t already know. He was with them every day of his life, but sometimes it was hard to see them purely as brothers and not also business partners and friends. Seb was glad she’d said this because it changed his views on the situation on hand.

“I know, I know. Daniel is good, being the strongest one here, really.” Seb smiled at his husband, Dan smiled back.

“Good, make sure you’re okay too. Don’t keep putting yourself behind everyone okay? Dan will make sure you don’t do that, he knows.”

“Okay mum. I have to go. I just wanted to check in. I’ll let you know if there are any updates.” Sebastian signed off with his mother and hung up, signing in relief at her response to the situation.

Meanwhile, back in Remington’s room a small, quiet boy say next to him, holding his hand like it was all his life depended on it. It was sweet too see such love and caring affection between two brothers. Emerson depending on Remington a lot, and it was that feeling was reciprocated. On the road Sebastian wasn’t their brother he was the manager, he was the one who was serious about everything; so Rem and Em relied on each other for every kind of affection needed.

“Please wake up Rem, I need you.” Emerson’s small voice came from beside his older brother. Thought Emerson knew his brother would wake up and be fine there was this anxiety that sat heavy in his heart that maybe his brother wouldn’t be okay and maybe he wouldn’t wake up. Though that was something that was so much less likely than anything else, it still sat with Emerson.

They did everything together, everything. It was hard to see your soulmate like this. Emerson was a very spiritual person so he felt like him and his brothers where tied together for life, even if they weren’t together.Emerson didn’t hear the other two come in until there was a hand resting on his shoulder “He’s going to be okay, Em.” Seb’s voice was calm, protecting. His whole demeanor had changed, he didn’t give off the ‘I am in control and in charge’ vibes he usually gave off.

Seb bent down and wrapped his arms around Emerson, hugging him tightly, Emerson used one hand to hold onto Sebastian’s arm but didn’t let go of Remington's hand. “I’m scared Seb.” Emerson admitted.

“I know, I know, so am I.” Sebastian also admitted, the room became more of a scared family then concerned band mates.


	4. the lead up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Description of Panic Attacks and Vomiting

\- three months later -

After the events of the show where Remington fractured his neck, no one saw much of him. He wasn't very present online or in public, of course he was around his brothers and family most of the time during his recovery. At the start Remington would say how he didn't think he would ever be able to perform again and everyone told him it was just eh initial shock, he would get over it and be on the stage in no time doing more insane things to put on a better show for the audience and fans.

Slowly over times Remington started to notice that no one thought he was being serious, that he was just shocked from the fall and would be up and about in no time. But they didn't understand, with all his other injuries he was able to get back up and keep going, this injury literally prevented him from performing for months. That wasn't something he'd ever really dealt with, he felt very alone in his suffering, of course he could have opened up but he didn't know how to about this particular issue.

"Fuck," Remington said quietly, the mic still picking up on his voice and filling the arena. Tonight, was going to be his first night back on the stage since the incident. His nerves felt like they were bare to the world, with no protective layer on them. He wanted to throw up from two nights before the show, he didn't know if he could do this, if he was going to be able to play a show and put on the same performance that people expected from him.

"You good Remi?" Emerson's voice came from behind the drum kit, there was a slight bit of concern in his voice, everyone was a little nervous to be playing a show finally. Remington turned around, hand still on the mic and smiled at his younger brother.

"Course," he smiled, Emerson didn't even bat an eye. He went back to hitting the drums and Remington waited for his queue to start sound checking the microphone.

By the time soundcheck had finished Remington was shaking, it wasn't really noticeable, or it was and no one really said anything about it. He was breaking out in a cold sweat while the band waited in the greenroom. Emerson's girlfriend, Shy, was there and Daniel was curled up in Seb's lap scrolling through his phone. So, everyone was quite preoccupied with their relationships to notice Remington, shaking like a leaf in a wind storm.

Remington took himself to the bathroom, trying not to think of how he was feeling. Being around so much noise in the greenroom was making him feel worse, he needed to be alone and in the quiet. He walked into the girl's bathroom and sighed leaning over a sink looking at himself in the mirror, he felt sick. He was pale, his makeup looked like it stood out more than normal because of how pale he had gotten from share anxiety.

"I can't fucking do this," he said to himself. His brown eyes where wide with terror, how could something he loved so much, something he enjoyed so much be the root of his fear right now. He was made for the stage, he was all show and no person when he was on that stage. He spent his whole life waiting to be on stage, putting on as show, and now he was here almost on his knees throwing up because of anxiety going on stage. "Christ." He breathed.

Remington turned around and slammed open the toilet door behind him and threw up into the toilet, he knelt down hands gripping the bowl so hard his knuckles where white. Once he stopped, he pulled his phone out and texted Emerson.

 **Remington:** i just threw up, please come here

Remington was going to have to tell his brother what was going on, out of everyone Emerson was the one who was going to understand the most. He glanced at the time as he sat on the floor next to the toilet, head resting in his hand. They were supposed to go on stage in twenty minutes, Remington started to shake more now.

The bathroom door swung open and he head the clicking of shoes on the tiled floor, then a familiar face came around the corner of the stall door, clear blue eyes "Oh Remi, you look not good." Emerson mumbled as he knelt down to take in his older brother fully. Remington just shook and tried to focus on the words Emerson was saying.

"I can't go out there Em, I can't go on stage." He struggled to get out, Emerson looked at him for a moment.

"What we're going to do is get you a change of clothes, wash you up." He started, sometimes just Emerson stating how he was going to make this better made Remington feel slightly better. "I'm going to get Shy to bring us some clothes and your makeup bag. We're going to clean you up here." He stood up pulling out his phone and texting his girlfriend, he then pocked his phone after a few seconds and then put his hand out for Remington to grab and get him standing.

"Th-thank you Em," Remington got out as they walked to the sink. Emerson smiled at his brother, he'd do anything for him.

"Of course, Rem." They got to the skin and Emerson tapped the bench "Get up there." Remington made a good enough effort to get up there on his own while Emerson grabbed paper towels and made them wet. "Wash your mouth out first," Remington rinsed his mouth out a couple times getting the taste out. "Okay get undressed," was the next step, Remington got his top, shoes and pants off with the help of Emerson. Then Emerson wiped Remington face quickly, not trying to get rid of makeup but more the vomit around his mouth.

"Here, here, I hope this is okay Rem. I tried." Shy walked in, a little breathy from jogging and rummaging around the bus no doubt. She smiled at him as she put the clothes and makeup bag down, he smiled back. "Here let me help you," she offered her help to pull on his new, clean t-shirt and jeans.

Emerson was searching the makeup bag for what he was looking for, the small black pallet with four colours, liquid liner, lipstick and a brush. "Okay you good?" Emerson said turning around just as Shy was pulling on his other boot for him. Remington nodded, the shaking had somewhat subsided "Shy touch up his face, make him look less like he just got out of the ring and more Remington edgy boy." Emerson chuckled, Remington and Shy joining in.

After another ten minutes Remington was in new clothes, revamped makeup and wasn't feeling as bad as he was before. "What if I get out there and freeze Em?" Remington questioned his brother as they walked back to the greenroom.

"I'll get up there and sing and you can play the drums." He smiled, Shy giggling next to him "that should be enough to make you not freeze on stage." Remington smiled and nodded. The three walked into the loud dressing room, Remington dumped his stuff on the table and sat down, just as he did that, they were told it was time for the stage.

Remington felt like he was going to throw up again as they walked to the stage. "I love you, just breath, I'm right behind you." Emerson said as he hugged his brother behind the doors to the stage.


	5. after.

Remington came of stage, chest burning, hands and legs shaking, breath short and quick. He held onto the wall, waiting or the rest of the band to get off. Luis had followed him with the camera but then had gone back on stage to film the others. Remington made the decision to try and get himself outside. Maybe the fresh air would help calm his nerves. 

Remington stumbled through the back hallways to the doors that lead outside, he almost fell out the door he was so egur to get out there. Lucky for him there where only a couple of the venue staff and security guards outside, no fans. He didn't think he was able to put on a fake face if he needed to interact with fans right now. 

I took in deep breaths, the cold air washing over his bare upper body. The set wasn't terrible, the anxiety mixed with adrenaline made it somewhat bearable. He was happy with his vocals, he seemed pretty steady through the whole set which actually surprised him, but he'd also used to get some nerves before stage earlier in his career. 

After a couple of minutes out there he started to get cold form the air, so he went back inside making his way to the greenroom where the rest of the band would be. He walked in, no one but Shy turning her head to great him. He sat down next to her and she rubbed his shoulder in comfort. "Thanks for earlier," he smiled at her. She really came through for him and he appreciated that she was able to help him. 

"Of course, love, you're family." She responded with a warm smile on her face, Remington smiled in return. 

Every talked and then went out to meet fans. This was the comfortable part from Remington, he loved meeting the people who supported him. Remington almost felt like he knew how Emerson felt in crowds. Emerson was able to get on a stage in front of hundreds of people no issues, but as soon as he was in that crowd, he felt like he was suffocating. 

Remington felt like that now, every time he was on stage it was like he was going to throw up from anxiety, he never stopped shaking. But once he was with the fan's he felt calm and safe. 

Remington didn't know if he would ever stop being crippled by the fear of being on stage, maybe over time it would lesson but he knew that he would never be able to perform the same. sometimes he would see some fan's saying they missed the Remington that was crazy on stage and that made him sad. 

Sometimes it made him frustrated, like people forgot he broke his neck. That was three months of rehabilitation, three months of thinking about he could have lost the ability to walk all together. And people just assumed he'd be able to bounce back like he did from a dislocated knee. 

But as long as Emerson was by his side, and eventually letting the rest of the band know, he would be able to make it to the stage. Some nights where worse than others, but the worst of all of them was the first time he ever stepped back on that stage after he'd broken his neck.


End file.
